Tuesday, January 1, 2013

2013 - bring it on.

I have a feeling that 2013 is going to be a big year filled with growth and changes.

How do I know this? The other day, I flipped through old journals from 2-3 years ago. I wrote them before I gave in to what I wanted and left my stable job to move to MN for a yearlong volunteer program. I hardly recognized that person. I didn't think I was afraid of anything, but I now realize that I was afraid of the power of my own thoughts. I've always known that I wanted to work "with people" (a life of service), but I was afraid to take the initial leap to do that. in 2010, I took that leap and look where I am now. Two years of volunteer service later and I'm working in refugee resettlement.

I know that this is going to be an amazing year because I know how much I've changed in the last 2-3 years. In MN, I began to change as I was finally out of the area and grasp of my family. I was finally living my own life. I haven't looked back since. Last year (or, rather the end of 2011), I took the leap and moved to the Villa where I worked on a farm (!), with retired sisters, and at a Catholic worker. I learned about spirituality and prayer and, holy crap did I grow. At one point, I wondered out loud, "When did I become this person?" For the record, I don't know the answer to that.

I see the changes when I go back to my family's house and become anxious at that lifestyle. It's not how I live anymore and, while it's nice to visit, it's not what I want for myself. I see the changes when I explain my job or why I'm involved in anti-human trafficking campaigns or Young Adult involvement in the Catholic Church. I see the changes when I try to return to the person that I was and I can't.

I know who I am now. I know what I want and how I want to live my life. 2013 will be a good year because I will keep learning, leaning into who I've become, and going where I know that I'm heading.

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